As I said the Marquise de Sevigne, “if we are born with two eyes, two ears and one tongue is because you must listen and look twice before you speak.”

The most important and difficult pair in every communicative process is knowing how to listen . Despite the great technological development and applications to enhance communication between all of us, many people feel more alone than ever. The problem is that most users know they do not listen to others, or put another way, he can not make the other feel heard.

This feeling is because, in most cases, it is often more aware of their own emissions and to communicate a message devoid of information to the receiver, which provide something really interesting to the reader or listener. Thus, it is common to find on social networks with people who fill your space with phrases that only provide personal information in their day to day, are largely irrelevant, with no goal or purpose should actually be present in its content. So you lose the essence of communication itself, which is to pool and share information with others, understanding information, transmission of an idea.

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The meaning of “active listening”

Active listening refers to the ability to hear not only what the person is expressing directly, but also capture the feelings, ideas or thoughts behind what is being said. In short, this is to understand communication from the viewpoint of the speaker.

Elements that facilitate active listening

The most relevant provision is to have a correct psychological , being prepared to listen inwardly watching the other. It should seek to identify the content of what he says, the goals and feelings that the person wishes to communicate in their expression. To achieve a clearer grasp the real background of the received message, we must make an effort to know accurately identify facial expressions of the person who spoke. You can see more than 3,000 expressions on our face, we react to the conscious or unconscious. But to facilitate this task, simply being able to recognize the seven universal facial expressions that discovered the psychologist Paul Ekman in his studies with the tribe of Papua New Guinea. With some practice before the mirror, we can determine if the message is implicit anger, fear, disgust, contempt, surprise, some sadness or happiness. Empathize with the person you are talking is crucial for it to feel heard, as by standing in place, we really understood their motives. We can generate a principle of empathy with expressions such as “I see, umm” and “uh.”

Avoidance in active listening:

First of all, try not to get distracted. We must make a special effort towards the middle of the message is being heard. Scientific studies have shown that during the listening process, we usually show two peaks of attention . These occur at the beginning and end of message, thus half the content of the message receives less attention, thus losing information. Nor should interrupt the speaker, much less judge. Try to avoid premature solutions offer support or reject and what the other person is feeling through words all blockbuster films as “Do not worry, that’s nothing.”