Analyzing our own discussions, we can see the many requests we make and receive daily.

Every day, millions of people around the world perform more than one request to get what they want, need or even care about. In fact, one of the main pillars of communication in business , lies in the exchange of information to achieve maximum benefit, sometimes requesting data and actions that are not readily available. There are certain people, as if by magic, they usually get all that demand for their innate abilities. The good news is we can all learn the necessary resources to improve this skill.

Main factors

The first requirement must file a petition to be accepted successfully, it is reasonable, which is within normal parameters. You can not ask someone you give away 10 million euros, or that you provide all its customer base. The second is to pay attention and respect the feelings of the person we’re going to make the request. Pray that the other abandons its favorite sport or hobby or completely modifying your personal style in some facet, goes directly against the subject’s personality. The last element to consider is knowing how to wait and choose the right time. For every situation there is a right moment, and ask for something in high stress situations or where we are not one hundred percent cognitively speaking, often lead to more trouble than good.


Special attention

We watch with special attention to our nonverbal language , as it transmits 93% of the data during communication. Therefore endeavor to show no gestures that might contradict what they declare. Of course you also have to take care of the content of what we show, using kindness (please ask for things), being specific in our request (not order more than one thing at a time and specifying the date, time and place) stating the importance to you and thanking you finally if accepted, to persuade his attitude in future requests. Finally, one should not feel obliged to give much explanation or apology, since in most cases is as fair to ask how to refuse.

If you do not agree to your request

The oldest trick in front of a negative, is the persistence . Trying not to get angry or raise his voice, we must insist on achieving our goal with phrases like “you’re right, but the fact is. First, we must be flexible and admit that perhaps we do not carry we can be right and wrong in our request. It is highly recommended to adopt the other’s viewpoint and recalculate our strategy. In certain cases, the listener usually say no just because of seeing closed band. We will also predispose to the other for us through praise and special attention, and using active listening. Show agree on everything and even propose that it is he who supply alternatives, usually gives good results.

Rejecting a request

Can also be for us who receive a request, and if we do not like the idea, refuse to know properly. It is important to remember to be assertive and say no when necessary in a clear, because they access provided to all, often become victims of those who profit. We must analyze the real consequences both positive and negative in case of accept and reject. It is very useful to make sure you understood the request and if not, ask that doubts are cleared. Logically, should not have a definitive answer, say you need more time to think. The most widely known and best performing is that of the “sandwich.” is to say something positive before and after rejecting the proposal. An example would be “I wish I could help, but the weekend so I have taken, tell me if I can help you with anything else.”

Extreme cases

For cases in which the subject does not understand that their proposal is being rejected, one can say a resounding no without explanation or even remain silent ignoring him. The most diplomatic or patients may choose a strategy to repeat his argument through which refuse the request again and again without getting upset, her voice steady and calm.